old posts from before

.sides of divides

There are so many sides to Singapore that I am blind to. Most of the 22 years that I’ve lived and grown up in Singapore have been spent in a bubble of familiarity and affinity – largely the same people, same places and same perspectives. The remaining 4 years I spent overseas at university. As you'd imagine, Singaporeans who made it overseas were not the most diverse lot. So although the stint broadened my mind, my interactions with fellow countryfolk added little to my perspective of Singapore. Looking back, our occasional debates about ‘life’ in Singapore as we knew of it were, on balance, myopic; almost subconsciously glazing over the fact that life in Singapore is anything but unitary.

I am ashamed to say that I have very limited awareness and appreciation of the larger set of diverse experiences that constitute life in Singapore beyond this bubble. What are the aspirations and concerns of the wizened old man I oft see pushing his battered cart outside of Chinatown Complex? Did he arrive from China? Where does he live? How has his world changed now that we’ve embarked on a renewal of Singapore? Or the aspirations and concerns of the newly arrived couple from China I saw crossing Racecourse Road carrying what looked like their life’s possessions on their backs? Why are they here? What are their plans? How about the young bus captain who nods and smiles every time I board his bus for the trip to work? Has he and his family benefited from the ‘bumper’ economic growth of the past few years? What about the aspirations and concerns of the growing numbers of migrant workers from the Philippines and the Indian sub-continent? How are they settling into Singapore society? How are they influencing its dynamics, texture and content? One cannot but wonder if policy is keeping up with this proliferation of divides; be they real or perceived. Do the sides of these divides have an adequate voice in proceedings which impact them?

Every society has its divides, for instance between old and young; legacy and change; rich and poor; citizens and aspirants; not to mention those of race, religion and creed. Each society, however, differs in the maturity of how they deal with these potential fault-lines. Constant engagement and communication across divides, be they real or perceived, are key to each side understanding the other and respecting the principles that underlie their different points of view. This mutual understanding and respect softens these divides, facilitates convergence and provides the grounds upon which an inclusive civil society can take root and grow. This civil society, drawn from participants across its parts, is fundamental to maintaining the cohesiveness and resilience of the whole. It is civil society that works to ensure the peaceful façade observed on the outside continues to be buttressed internally by strong mutual relations between groups, even as times change.

Formal channels notwithstanding, I think that in Singapore we have scant engagement across divides and consequently a civil society that struggles to take root. This is not surprising as discourse, both public and private, shies away from acknowledging these increasing divides that criss-cross our society. And acknowledgement is, crucially, a preceding and necessary step to constructive dialogue. Such acknowledgement seems to be inhibited by the tendency of the public sphere to stress the perpetual existence of a nebulous ‘harmony’ between constituent parts of our society. This public mantra been largely effective in shaping private attitudes; most are convinced that the current state of affairs constitutes 'harmony' regardless of the fact that it detracts from the true meaning of the term. I agree that there were combustible times in our history where an imposition of 'harmony' - through propaganda and more forceful means - was, perhaps, necessary for stability. And to give credit where it is due, this stability then become the foundation for progress and development. The historical conditions which justified this top-down approach have, however, largely given way to a much more mature society.

In my opinion, a term that is closer to reality than ‘harmony’ is a ‘cordial co-existence’ of sides; be they from old divides or newly minted ones. After the initial acute turbulence, sustained economic growth has cosseted this cordial state of affairs; providing more than ample breathing room for each side to conduct their day-to-day affairs largely independently of others, with relations between sides adequately brokered through community and public leaders. There is, however, no guarantee whatsoever that our small and open economy will enjoy such favourable economic conditions indefinitely, despite our Herculean efforts to groom the best and brightest for public office. Should we not be using these times of plenty to bring about a more mature discourse, substantively bridging divides at a grassroots level to build social resilience for a future that may not be as comfortable as today?

- 30th Oct 2008


.has spectacular command growth sown its own seeds of decline?

Manufacturing, FDI, and Dependent Development. At independence, Singapore had a GNP per capita of US$320, a literacy rate of only 65% and of all the adult population only 7-10% possessed secondary (or higher) education. Mass unemployment post-British withdrawal, communist insurgency and racial riots. 1965, Government decided on export-led growth, revamped the Economic Development Board to attract FDI in labour intensive manufacturing industries; massive infrastructure investment in industrial parks, transportation and communication. Educational system overhaul, with goals of literacy and manufacturing skills. Mid 1970’s focus on attracting capital intensive manufacturing industries, 1980’s onwards – movement up the manufacturing value-chain with an emphasis on product and process engineering. Suggestion of Dependent Development – reliance on foreign entrepreneurship and capital (emphasis on attracting established global MNCs, crowding out indigenous investment and enterprise), education system tailored to produce wage-workers for MNCs.

Government Linked Companies (GLCs). In addition to relying on foreign capital and enterprise, active and comprehensive government enterprise funded by compulsory savings fuelled growth. Public ventures included the port, airport, national airline, national telecommunications operator, national savings bank, shipbuilding and petrochemical engineering, and the national press amongst others. Most have been privatised, and those which have been listed dominate the local equity market.

Human Capital Hording. Direct management by the government and civil service in the two aforementioned areas was fundamental to Singapore’s ‘take-off’; and initial success bred more intrusive intervention. The education system has been progressively refined to channel the most intellectually able into the civil service. Human capital development has been stunted by distorted incentives and the increasingly narrow focus of the education system where success for many equates to securing a government scholarship at age 17, and subsequent employment in the civil service. Reducing pre-mature specialisation of human capital and less unfair hording of human capital in the public sector (much higher marginal productivity in the private sector) should greatly enhance the quality and efficiency of human capital.

Growth by accumulation, low or absent TFP growth. Young (1992): by the late 1980s Singapore's investment as a share of GDP was more than 40%, Singapore's return on capital, which in the early 1960s had been 40%, by the late 1980s had fallen to 11-12%, one of the lowest rates in the world. Over the two decades after 1970, Singapore's total factor productivity fell by 6%. This suggests that Singapore has been extremely efficient at attracting FDI, enforcing compulsory savings and allocating savings to GLCs which undertook inefficient capital accumulation in progressively higher-valued manufacturing industries to increase GDP.

key macroeconomic challenges: competitiveness, volatility and future growth

Squeeze on competitive advantage due to structural inefficiency at technology frontier. By the 1990’s, the conduct of rapid accumulative command growth was highly efficient with a disciplined workforce, educational, labour market, FDI institutions all optimised to respond to government investment directions (a lurching economy?). Institutional efficiency and command structures perhaps a liability now that the technology frontier has been reached; exponential increase in risk associated with centralised decision-making; dependent risk-averse population with poor ability to gauge risk. Low quality and quantity of new private local entrepreneurship and missed opportunities.

Over-reliance on manufacturing and dependence on external trade conditions. Embedded institutions and the stifling effect of these on the quality and flexibility of human capital inhibit transition beyond manufacturing; government has attempted to tweak the education system to produce more inventors and entrepreneurs (unsurprisingly with little success) given that it continues to dominate entrepreneurial opportunities. Scant success with progressing beyond manufacturing resulted in the recent biotechnology, pharmaceutical and service initiatives. At the technology frontier (no more leaders to follow) there are few low risk opportunities available for the government to direct the economy towards, and there are extremely high costs of command failure. This together with export demand uncertainty and increasing competition points to increasing volatility of future growth for Singapore.

Future growth. Singapore is still almost entirely dependent on the government and external factors for its future growth – on successful government direction, the formers success in attracting foreign capital, entrepreneurship, management skills, even manual labourers, and on prevailing demand from external markets. The lack of local private invention and entrepreneurship is both the result of direct government management of the economy over the past four decades which produced rapid command growth (of dubious investment efficiency), and the reason (and excuse) for the persistence of direct government economic intervention today. It is a government monopoly that has worked so well historically, and the trusting and contented populace are in no rush to assume additional responsibility. Oblivious that the odds of systemic failure and its costs are steadily increasing, perhaps only failure itself will infuse new life into Singapore’s economy.

- short essay from undergraduate days


.we are all power rangers now society reaps in the future what it sows in the present. it's all quite scary really. do you have a kid? well i don't but i do have 2 younger brothers and frankly, they're all power rangers now. splendid. in pink, blue, white and what-ever-else-colours there may be. and like every brainless episode they do the same stuff over and over and over and over again. week in week out - school, math tuition, piano lessons, tv, science tution, speech class, computer games, dreaded chinese tuition, more tv. ditto. a kid's life has changed so much over the past decade and a half, but not for the better i'd reckon. in a strict material sense they definitely have more than we did. but as always there's a tradeoff and i fear that some of the most important non-material influences have been overtly sacrificed - relationships, warmth, care, concern, surprises, fun. there are only 24 hrs in any day. and it doesn't help that parents are, 1. ever more caught up in making that extra buck, 2. ever more resigned that more tution, tv and computer games are the natural order of a kid's day. my guess is that 1. and 2. feed on each other, justifying and reinforcing a cycle of increasing disengagement. commoditisation pervades a kid's life, so much so that even he himself has become reduced to a mere object, albeit one with a huge recurrent price tag attached. 'tell it to go there, ask it to do this, we have no time for what it wants, this is all for it's own good, i'm too tired for it, leave it with the maid, why is it's your score so low?'. i'm a firm believer that the adult is a product of his experiences as a kid, his disposition, outlook towards life, how comfortable he is with people, temprement, drive. teenagerhood and beyond accentuates these rather than alters them at base. how many in the power ranger generation have caught fishes in drains? and have fallen into them? played police and thief with his neighbours? cites enid blyton as his favourite author and sesame street as his favourite program? a minority i'd think. not to say the list above is much to shout about, or that my generation had it great - leave that for another time. what i'm highlighting is that things have taken a good few steps in the wrong direction since. they're all power rangers now. in due time, we will all be power rangers now. after that, the teletubbies?

.hear cesaria evora - nha cancera ka tem medida (deep forest single version), duncan sheik - daylight (album), the streets - weak become heroes (ashley beedle's love bug vocal mix)

- Monday, January 13, 2003


.the fourth estate the popular press, being popular press, tends to indulge in broad but selective reporting, systematically discounting the extent of the bad karma abound. and popular press, in fulfilling its role as ubiquitous friendly information provider to the proletariat, also inductively sets most the agenda of what is discussed amongst the masses and hence, through the incredible democratic apparatus, what is of concern to politicians and their all-important ratings. correspondents thrive on sudden shifts (drama), not ebbs nor status quos (no drama). the problem is that not everything of real value is exciting as say, the psycadelic shape-shifting chameleon that is american foreign policy, or kim jong il and his totally out-of-this-world haircut. As a result the coverage, though geographically diverse, is but detailed information about peaks, troughs and notable steep gradients, with much of the baseflow discounted. prolonged ethnic strife, shortage of food, chronic disease in africa and the third-world, social wastage elsewhere, are all very much part of reality. but since they have been reported before and not much has changed since, then we shall keep it in the dog-eared 'others' folio till, if ever, the fireworks begin. it's akin to sitting on death row in california, when it happens you die, au reviour dude, if not you just waste away bit by bit, statistic by statistic, in line, unseen and forgotten. unlike death row though, the under-current of vice and suffering does not waste away, rather it grows. and grows. slowly but with gathering destructive potential. it is a practice of great folly to ignore or give mere token mention to these baseflows, in a bid to cover even more of what i term 'big bang happenings' - obvious peaks, troughs and steep in-betweens, involving events that have already occured, or will occur in the inelastic short term, of which a relatively little can be done. not that i'm suggesting that we abandon these, only that there is much that can be done to seek a better balance incorporating a greater forward perspective, searching and illuminating ticking time bombs, obvious and not so obvious, and profiling their projected adverse consequences. a self-confessed backstage melancholic, i brood in gloom and doom in a bid to add my weight, little as it may be, to the end of the scale that tips toward greater reflection and caution. not that this is the panacea toward eliminating the evils of the world. perfect information we will never possess. but greater and more relevant information will go a long way to preempting and providing relief to this world's ills.

- Friday, January 17, 2003


.aside time exists in the plurality of ones thoughts. why do we not get stuck on one thought alone? imperfection drives the world. perfection is absolute, imperfection is relative. imperfection drives the passage of time. time thus does not apply to he who is perfect. we strive for perfection but perfection does not exist within our nature of being. we are linear. we find equilibria and we optimise. perfection implies oneness. are we all one and the same? is perfection the absence of imperfection or...? if something encompassed all, never began and will never end, is it not perfect in itself? it is all than can exist, thus whatever form it takes it is perfect since there is no alternative conception.

- Thursday, January 30, 2003


.excerpt from laws of human resource management for corporations rule #1: make people work 9-5 or longer infront of 85hz computer screens worshipping powerpoint and excel in the midst of photocopiers printers fax machines in stale airconditioning that smells of chalk in cubicles that are square or rectangle with at the most two pale colours with doors that make loud beeping noises whenever they are unclocked because it makes the people most productive and builds greatest long-term shareholder value.

- Friday, September 24, 2004

where blackberries can't go

i feel
i can
explore
the whole
wide world
with you

from high-roller
slot machines

and really

auntie-like
gaudy prints
already we've
had moments

to missed deadlines

rushed packing

epic skypes

and happy,

sleeeepy

grins what a
few days its
been with
you

only last friday

but the greens
are greener
and reds, redder
i can't know
you but yet
weird,
its like i do

i know
that it just 
feels right,
and i know
you know it
too

and, yes
i know its
but a start
but as starts
go this is
gold 

may i

carry your bags
we'll go explore

far-faraway lands

where blackberries

can't go

-------

concerts a emporter

http://www.blogotheque.net/-Concerts-a-emporter-
 
awesome impromptu concerts!

on a plate

still you
but occasionally
come by
for free bites

still you
but with reality
the struggle
has moved on

still you
but with acceptance
and brightness
to the day

hail smith, divider of labour

they make us machines
one trick ponies
performing this vast
circus of routine

they make us machines
with one good hand
the forgotten other
behind
withered
we wonder why
we paddle hard
but always in circles

they make us machines
feed us
eat-all-you-want
stuff-my-face
paper
advertisements
we wonder why
we grab all we can
but still we want more

they make us machines
divided our being
our souls
and killed us

shout out louds - work

just released!

the original alfa gta

i WANT.

just found

http://thescienceofdesign.blogspot.com/

 About TSOD


The science of design features creative people from different fields of design and art. My aim is to find interesting work that contributes with something unique to the world. I'm specially interested when I come across artists that are not receiving the recognition they deserve. Great talent should not go unnoticed.

—————Design by Country—————

The artists are tagged by the country they are based in, or where they come from. This is particularly useful to acquire a sense of how design is happening in a place, but also as a tool to enter in contact with artists that live in the same area.

———————Collections———————

With a larger collection of digital art and photography, this blog collects portfolios from other fields specially when they have had an interesting conceptual approach or have experimented on the aesthetics of a project.

max bill chronoscope

i'm a big fan of his work, and i love this chronograph of his - great example of clean, strong bauhaus design

Max Bill was probably the most important swiss artist of the 20th century and the most famous student to come out of the legendary Bauhaus in Dessau. He was a pupil of Walter Gropius and kindred spirit of Le Corbusier and Mies VanderRohewas. Max Bill was an ardent anti-fascist and all his avant-garde work as an artist, sculptor, architect and typographer showed a social responsibility and environmental awareness right through his life.

come eat in my house - derriere restaurant, paris

from yatzer.com

a restaurant decorated as though it were someone's living space. multiple rooms with different feels to suit diners' moods. i like. someone should start something like this in sg.

http://www.yatzer.com/2130_derriere_restaurant_in_the_heart_of_paris

owen pallett

what a voice



and a load of good stuff on PRI
http://www.youtube.com/user/PRI

d.dornblüth & sohn

an independent father and son manufacture, based in kalbe, germany. am a big fan of old school watchmaking i.e. painstakingly handmade watches. at their price point ~eur 2,500 - 5,000 doubt there are any other manufactures - if you know of any others please leave a comment - that offer an in-house designed/fabricated calibre and their level of hand-finishing. products of a labour of love. i'd like a 99.2 with a white face, please

  
a timezone visit to d.dornblüth & sohn:
http://www.timezone.com/library/tzints/tzints631925903176093750

elemental

J.M.W. Turner Snow Storm—Steam Boat off a Harbour's Mouth Making Signals in Shallow Water, and Going by the Lead. The Author Was in this Storm on the Night the Ariel Left Harwich

sunday playlist

luke pritchard of the kooks - seaside / see the world



-------

the killers - when you were young, acoustic at abbey road



-------

magni - the dolphin's cry at rockstar supernova



-------

kings of convenience - i don't know what i can save you from (remix by röyksopp)



-------

Sigur Rós - Starálfur (Heima)



-------

the new pornographers - challengers

old posts

- originally notes i posted on facebook -

QUIBBLES WITH SALVATION 

A very very random chain of thoughts came to being this afternoon; a throw back to good old college days -

Do good in this life, or rather what is pronounced to be ‘good’, to save yourself from anguish – often eternal mind you – in the afterlife. In this standard form Salvation, with a big S, is at once used both as a carrot and stick to coax and harangue compliance to a set of traditions and conventions which are purported to be ‘good’. This promise and threat of Salvation is certainly not the only motivation for compliance, but I reckon that for a large number Salvation is in fact the determining factor for such compliance. For this lot, even if these traditions and conventions turn out to be ‘good’ in the absolute (for argument’s sake), the problem is that they would be doing all the right things but for all the wrong reasons. The motivation to do good in this instance is self-interest and fear centered in the (uncertain) afterlife rather than true concern and compassion for others in this (certain) life.

A more compelling alternative, in my opinion, is that we drop all this talk of Salvation and ground our ethics solely in this life. The fundamental ethical question should be framed: how should we live this life with true concern and compassion for all others who are affected by our actions; be they in the present or in the future. Whether an action is ethical depends solely on its impact on the interests of this set of people, and correspondingly true motivation for ethical actions can only stem from concern for these same people.

If we lived life in ways which are consistent with the interests of all and on the motive of true concern and compassion for all, we have lived an ethical life. If one, for whatever reasons – cosmic or consequential – is devoid of such true concern and compassion, then he/she would not have lived an ethical life even if he/she acted in superficial conformance (whatever the underlying motivations).

The ethical life should be a good in itself and that’s that. It will be a huge bonus, but an independently standing bonus nonetheless, if such an eternal afterlife does indeed exist and that salvation happens to be secured by having lived such an ethical life. If, however, entry into the eternal afterlife is not to be secured on these terms but on terms contrary to the interests of all, does it not strongly suggest that the eternal afterlife is not worth living after all?

- Wednesday, 05 December 2007 at 19:35

-------

A PRE-SCHOOL PROPOSITION 

caught an installment of the documentary 'my brilliant brain' on nat geographic on monday (it airs at 9pm - there's one more episode; do watch if you haven't caught the series yet). it left me even more convinced that the quality and breadth of an individual's early childhood stimuli/experiences (from birth to approx. 3-years of age) crucially impacts the individual's approach to and capacity for learning/social interaction etc. in later years.

I've always been interested in early childhood learning; holding the opinion that there is much that can be done to improve pre-kindergarten and kindergarten education especially in sg. There's still too much rigid goal-oriented teaching (preparing the child for the primary school syllabus) when the focus should be on kindling the childrens' curiosity and providing a rich and varied environment - filled with books, sports, arts and crafts, music, nature etc. - for them to explore and embrace on their own terms.
 
I do believe early childhood learning is something that can make a real difference in lives. So if there's anyone else who's interested in getting involved in a possible project in this field, do get in touch.

p.s. to read about an interesting experiment conducted in this field, check out - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abecedarian_Early_Intervention_Project

- Wednesday, 19 December 2007 at 10:27   

the last book from a marxist political philosopher i admire greatly. this short piece of 92-pages by the late prof cohen should be read by all who have a general interest in political philosophy or specific interests in debates such as socialism vs capitalism, equality of what, individualism vs community and rights vs an ethic of care. to be honest, all and everyone should pick up a copy - it is well worth an afternoon of fifty page-turns. why not socialism is a summary of a life's passion, and wonderful argument for the ideals and spirit of socialism. give it a go.

review i would recommend 

http://www.oxonianreview.org/wp/you-and-i-and-a-whole-bunch-of-other-people-go-on-a-camping-trip/

citroen deux chevaux

quoted from the ft, the 2cv is " an abiding symbol of liberty in france's collective memory. built as a transition from horse and cart to motorcar for the peasantry, it industrialised the agricultural economy and made the working class mobile. engineer pierre-jules boulanger's 1930s prototype, dubbed "quatre roues sous un parapluie" (four wheels under an umbrella) was designed to drive "100kg of produce to market at 60 km/h on unpaved country roads using just three liters of petrol to travel 100km" - and, famously, to carry a basket of eggs across a ploughed field without breaking them".

all you could ever need from a car, really.

-------

for doing

(1) the ft article featured a 28-strong fleet of 2cvs which are used to give personal tours of paris. the 2cv's are driven by 'erudite and bilingual' guides, and one can pick from a range of alternative themed tours. perhaps someone should start something of this sort in singapore, in protest against these horrid bus-tour type thingys

(2) read somewhere about ikea producing a car. think the world could do and would embrace a cheap, back to basics car (not the nano which has no design panache) that is packed full of character and design flair both inside and out, green and safe. in other words, the same laid-back coolness of say a lambretta (and someone really should revive lambretta - last i checked the brand belonged to scooters india limited - to break piaggio/vespa's monopoly of designer scooters) but with four wheels, tad more safe and keeps the rain out. if ikea has dropped the idea someone else should take it up. a muji car perhaps?

below a few lambrettas from yesteryears

buddhism; science of mind

-------

meditation
i sit, the playground
ruckus
empties, both
laughter and sobs
as swings
as thoughts
finally
wearily
settle to stillness

i sit, next the winds
unruly bastards
take their cue
the swirl of leaves,
litter, junk of years
of seeing all through
concepts
and theories
past and worries of
yet to come
settle, like bits of apple
in juice, red
apples leaving
a brilliant golden
clarity of mind as

i sit,

(and now
it is time
to leave the
sitting
to itself)

-------

division of labour
we have created these
which divide
and consume us
for we have lost
sight of the
heavens and the
blue sky

-------

all is impermanent
see clearly
cherish deeply
not clinging
just being
ever smiling

-------

any moment
right moment

just be

and all becomes

-------

when no purpose
all is perfect
no better
no worse
just is

-------

bigger problem
lesser thinking
just hold in mindfulness
let being be

-------

all is impermanent
fleeting apperances
folds in a bedsheet
look deeply
into the heart of things
entrust acts to being

-------

what meaning is the sunrise
everything, yet nothing
giver to all
taker of none

-------

rich is the one
who loses
all possessions
all health
all family, and
at death
laughs, with deep
contentment and
happiness
at the close of a great comedy

-------

miracle is
that i see
hear taste
touch
eternity in every instant

-------

the higher the deeper
the roots,
the mean is kept
always

-------

buddha enlightened,
[             ] no more

-------

gods we create
cut and polish
with great fervour
slave, to the reflection
of the vanity of self

-------

let it not begin,
this chasing
attaining
fitting societies
mould of another
for it'll never
stop

-------

know thyself
and know
that you are
complete, as
you'll ever be

all else are
medals, which
pinned to your
vest
return to dust

-------

open,
learn with being
respond with being
mind as mirror

-------

open, calm
open, heal
open, abide

-------

be open,
a step behind
the anger, which
is of mind
not being

-------

most of us have
never known ourselves
we lost who we are
in this whole
affair
of growing up
of being educated
boxed and hemmed in
ever chasing this
ghost of achievement -
personal, mind you
- of progress, we
realise not that
layer upon
layer of ego
was lacquered
within which we
have wilted

sit
let settle,
strive not for
i

allow these coats
of man
to melt away

-------

read for insight,
never accumulate
see, through your
own eyes,
inspired by the
experiences of others
but your path
is your own,
unique, and from the start
complete

-------

throw your being
into the world
melt into all
as all melts into you

-------

what is right for you
depends on you
so know yourself
to know what is right

-------

purposeless
awareness,
basis of being

-------

how many years have
i lost in concepts,
in purpose,
in chasing the future
never living in the present
thus never living at all?

-------

if one has
then one can give
if one has none to give
then to give
is to pretend
only in hope of
receiving

two souls in a dance
of want
fulfils none

-------

mind,
the gap

-------

the root of the ego
is the want to impress
to seek
approval
distinction
elevation
from all around

-------

being the moment
clear expansive awareness
crisp cool breeze
rising, lightness of being
the beautiful breath
clarity and vibrancy
of colours and sound
full with life, energy
of the moment
smile,
give thanks

you are home

-------

reality is illusion
illusion is the
transitorily existent
empty of permanent
existance

old poems

.aspirare
dive without first dipping your toe in. red. passion and fury. breathe. take a step off the conveyor belt. you might not be here tomorrow. compassion. didn't kindergarden teach you not to stuff circles into square holes? and that not every damn thing is square? brocolli. eat it. stop pointing that finger. stop passing the buck. smile. come up for air.

questions.

a fleeting shadow on weary plaster,
worn, abused, misused.
shards. the pane falls, slowly.
deliberately. it hurts,
knowledge of the soon to be. anticipation.
sudden stillness, a field of wheat embellished in frame.
shades of grey. the shattering.
rewind damnit, rewind.

- Friday, January 10, 2003

empty.

the chase of oblivion, sweet excess.
ashen society, drones among smokestacks.
entombed, smelt in wanton greed. it festers,
so empty.

-Wednesday, January 15, 2003

the maze.

lush green corridors beckon,
towering ahead the entrance at first light.
tread lightly on the unworn path,
small bare feet on silken petals, soft sea of red.
a gleeful dance of carefree wonder,
sweet laughter abound.
a half-pace back you smiled.
so surreal, the maiden journey of the explorer.

a fork breaks ahead,
solitary path cleaved as dawn cedes to dusk.
certain footsteps wane,
a ghastly breeze stirs, the crackle of leaves.
dry, withered. piercing each fragile step.
frolicking rays usurped, whispering shadows lurk.
so alone.

but from the fear the explorer turned.
a half-pace back you smiled.

always a half-pace back.
always there for me.

dad and mum, will love you always!

- Wednesday, July 30, 2003

untitled #1

shifting sands, the yen
for certainty, illusive
never found, wanting
fleeting. all manifestations,
abound, cackling shadows
tempting one from stark,
unflinching

oneness.

reality, bites
don't kid yourself.

untitled #2

i seek for wonder,
a gasp of glee,
a glint of awe.
but nay
she doth a frail withered rose.
measuring, hurrying. progress,
build them now. more! more!
crushed, stomped. forgotten.
we live with clouded eyes,
we live with clouded eyes.

- Monday, October 06, 2003

untitled #3

i sit here among those who have opinions, abound
pause these: incessant assertations, insistence.
deadlines, of building extensions of oneself in the sky.
celebrate myself, oh such beauty, abound.

what, matters? simplicity escapes me. i seek clarity,
understanding. stone statues sit. worn, mocking
the institutions of splendid inertia, timelessly

dead.

value. by who's standards? penguins on lecterns,
huddled. bastion of serene irrelevance. such bliss,
for in antiquity i justify my existence. confusion.
muddled insecurity cringing behind spires and swirls,
mounds of charred indulgences.

- Friday, November 07, 2003

of mailmen and m&ms.

laughter is the language that we speak,
affinity, an enduring bond of simple affection,
just being ourselves, not someone else they seek.
expression, not false constructions in eyes of others,
but from within, an unashamed reflection of who we are,
our hopes,
loves,
whims,
and quirks that few appreciate.
of wealth and splendor i have none to give,
only care, concern and companionship,
an impish grin, giggle and a warm hug,
know that i will always be here for you!

to the wonderful wonderful person who never fails to brighten up my day, love you loads!

- Monday, November 10, 2003

liberty.

enslaved by i,
sweet shackles. of freedom,
the enlightened fool's providence. these
lofty guillotines slice,
flesh from whole.
wilted crackle; snarled detachment
burning pride strewn, on cold
earth. the rake of time,
removes all. liberty,
they cry.

- Friday, February 06, 2004

Plain Vanilla

I’m tired.
I know the outcome. Or do I?
I walk around with that empty feeling in my stomach.
I f-ing hate it.
Haha. Silly me.
What the f was I thinking?
Dream on small fry.
It isn’t a fking competition,
It’s all about substance. Or so I thought.
Silly me.
C’mon let’s all put up a big show.
Wham bam. f-king jam.
A cock-fighters prized catch.

untitled #4

used, abused. twirled like cotton candy on stick.
oh so pink, oh so sweet.
my ass.

- Tuesday, April 20, 2004

.limbocity

tepid contentment a numbing state of faux,
each step kinders yet lacerates deeper,
the impending,
i hear it. it resonates. daily mocking
relief of pure intent.
autonomosity beyond my best.
if only i could flip,
the switches of thy soul.
but it is limbocity,
smile as i dig my hole.

- Wednesday, September 29, 2004

i wish the strength to deny thee.

I yield not to the void.
still darkness from the breast creeps
snarled, my neck
swirling,
emptiness.
smile as agony wastes;
why can’t I just walk
impaled by one who returns not
too much I wish thy happiness.
phantom stilts on flaccid hope
that there be another.
else to love I live
but a sordid lie in my soul

replicationofalabourerslife.

damn alarm clock ali and wife wakes john and wife scoff that they have to wake so early for the kids and for work luke wakes the kids the kids oversleep ben gets worked up at the kids charlie laments why cant the kids just be disciplined and wake up on time ted wife and kids do the breakfast routine that is never completed as the rush begins wife begins household routine ali embarks on the rush to school the jam the f*ing taxi drivers john drops the kids luke thinks about work about the cubicles the telephones ringing the stale airconditioning the printer toner stench the harsh fluorescent lighting the same boring places for lunch reaches work parks car gets into the office forced smile greets collegues thinks about the fleeting joy knocking off at 630 the telephone rings the email buzzes the office routine begins 617 ben knocks off drives home stands at driveway relieved office day is done looks at front door with lifeless smile knowing stacatto awaits dinner tv kids on computer wonders why is there not more family joy clock chimes 9 confronts kids about homework flicks of computer unplugs telephone sits kids down lectures kids about how hard he works to provide for the family why cant kids do the f*ing homework kids dig pen into paper rage bottled suppressed repressed ted slams door walks to master bedroom wife watching tv slams door complains washes up fitful sleep damn alarm clock

- Friday, April 15, 2005

.chasing puddles in the desert

ebbing joy as i skip
forward i plant my soul
hardened by the linear course of time
shimmering hue of blue in scorching warmth of sun
yet only coarse bone specks await
always a momentary ever lessening flinch
before chasing the next puddle
shimmering delirium of hope
how long before i realise
i am but chasing puddles in the desert

- Wednesday, April 27, 2005

.unbeing

head on false down scant
respite as i fear your unbeing.
fitful sleep heaved, shallow breaths
the burden of a young soul
pondering death.
of unbeing,
uncomforted at the foot of the bed on which she slept
alone,
whilst you traversed the skies
unknowing
though not freed, of the unbeing
the surreal thought of watching
death consume this very
vivid consciousness
that lapses at some indetermined point
haze,
into the unbeing of
oblivion;
the hollow imploding self-consuming
homecoming to the empty home i never knew.

- Wednesday, June 22, 2005

.the evolution of the dance

what do you want of
me, the world? cradling
each in deranged embrace;
vacant forms,
contortions of
the headless bandmaster,
incessent drumming
drumming
never ending, wanting
drumming
all of me, consuming
till there is none
but your taint

- Tuesday, June 27, 2006

just thinking - chinese imperialism and chinese communism; an alternative view of china's 20th century history

a quick glance at both and there are striking similarities - one ruler at the very pinnacle, supported by an inner and outer court, ruling from a walled compound in beijing, central mandate to power derived in both from overarching moral duty to the people, in imperial china conferred by the heavens and in communist china conferred by marxist theory, the centre using its hard/soft power to force/cajole an oftentimes unwieldy and uncompliant bureaucratic apparatus extending to the village level, during the imperial era entry to the bureaucracy was via memorising confucian texts now entry is via memorising chinese communist texts (and in both the pragmitism of rule meant the texts took a back-seat) and post-mao has clearly seen a return to pragmatism over ideology, even the ritualistic state has survived - the forms of rituals have changed but the hierarchy and culture of ceremony has remained, recently, even the old habits of suzerainty seem to have resurfaced in china's resource dealings with impoverished/pariah african states.

think there might be a case to view the history of 20th century china from an alternative perspective. the dominant perspective now is that chinese imperialism was replaced by chinese communism and now chinese communism is being modified with foreign economic integration and markets. the alternative that may be explored is that chinese communism, through its distinctive stumblings, swings and campaigns, actually enabled the survival of chinese imperialism into modernity, i.e. the 20th century was actually a process of dynastic replacement and consolidation with the bonus of a democratisation, within the ruling class, of succession.

democracy would have been a catagorical change had the republicans been successful. whereas communism, as implemented by mao, although definitely iconoclastic and broke with the story, texts and language of imperial china till the qings, didn't create enough economic rent for him to consider spending on the much more costly business of unrooting and replacing the milennia-old underlying cultural and societal structures, which would have been necessary to affect much deeper and lasting change to ingrained thought patterns, habits, mores and norms. so most were left rather intact and indeed used/co-opted as the means to rule by mao. perhaps imperial china was merely reclothed and retooled by mao with new narratives and military/economic policies. and in doing so mao prevented the almost certain demise of imperial china which would have happened in the other probable scenarios then - either through the qing's own evident incompetence, should there have been no revolution, or should there have been true devolution of power through republican democracy. and mao's military/economic policies, whilst they may be correctly adjudged to be failures against potential (and definitely humanitarian disasters), they might have given the reclothed chinese imperial state just enough of a shot in the arm for it to survive the geopolitics of cold war. and where mao signed off, deng's post-cold war marketisation and opening of the borders of china to foriegn engagement and capital may have finally given the modern incarnation of the chinese imperial state the wealth required to not only consolidate its position of control but also upgrade its policing mechanisms to survive in the new digital age.